The Uphill Everlasting Battle
Anger, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is known as a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism. A stronger definition, or rather a subsequent one, is that of 'rage.' This is commonly seen or felt while engaged in an activity of some form, such as driving or work. I start with this by coming to terms with an emotion that I have struggled with my entire life, to the very time of this page writing.
For years, there has always been an agitation inside of me; the frustration of plans gone awry, people either misunderstanding what I have spoken or ignoring any information I provide, my own lack of a clear vision. Rather than air all my dirty laundry, I simply state that this battle has been a part of my life...while fully understanding that there are worse scenarios playing in other parts of the world. If there is no peace in one's self, the world around them is not a concern until such peace is made otherwise.
Okay, so You're Angry. Now What?
Well, from what I got thus far, there are several methods to handle anger positively and without violence. First, identify what is causing or aggravating anger. Second, find methods of de-escalation that can be used, both short-term and LONG TERM. Third, learn of ways to work situations without the need for emotional involvement; not just being detached, but focusing on what matters and channeling efforts that will better the situation and/or yourself. Finally, reflection; did I make strides to subdue the anger (it will not go away) or at the very least, find methods and solutions to address the problem in the future? That is what I wish to critique today. Grab some drinks/coffee and snacks. This is a long one.
First, What Do I Know?
In order to begin any sort of transformation, recovery, or improvement, the problem/situation must be identified. This can be a variety of issues. First, it could be the job situation; meaning the work you do is not helping you be in a better position in career or holding you back. There's also the company I may have had in my life. Depending on their disposition, it could be the fallout of stress in their own lives, and you were the outlet. This can be burdensome to many, if not life-threatening (should that come to pass, and if you are able, IMMEDIATELY leave that situation behind). Third, the more challenging forms of stress caused by internal turmoil. Expectations and doubts have ways of wearing a person thin of resolve and they become frail, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Lastly, there is a sense of financial strain. This is the most common of sources of anger to most people. It's tied to most aspects of one's job and to people I am closest with. It can even be attributed to internal stress. This is only a few examples of potential escalations that could occur; hearsay, mostly. Now I have some idea of what the indications are, the next asset is finding methods of relaxing/de-escalation.
Now To The Methods of Mellowing Out...
Once the potential issues are identified, the next step is to find methods to de-stress. First, I slowed my breathing down privately. Doing this allowed me to calm down physically as well as mentally. I also close my eyes while doing this. It's very helpful and a good way to lower blood pressure as well. The next thing I needed to do is find and acquire a hobby that is a good way to de-stress. Fortunately, I have some ideas; video games, reading, writing this blog. These options have helped me a lot. Then there's good ol' exercise or yard work. Exercise can be as simple as doing pushups, situps, squats and the like. It doesn't always require a gym membership, but that would be a logical next step should I be inclined in the future. Next up is spiritual guidance; that's an easy one and a challenging one. As a Christian I can turn to God for help; reading His Word, offering prayer, participating in His Ministries, going to Sunday School, taking time to do devotional before going to work. This will help me with a frame of mind to remember where my strength and health come from. Sometimes in the rush of work-life balance I tend to forget this. Fortunately, He offers reminders of His Grace. However, I know that not all people are Children of God, that said, finding spiritual peace of mind will also aid in reducing moments of anger. Finally, setting goals to achieve and tasks that are quantifiable eliminate the idle moments that anger can creep up. But more on that in the next segment...
How to Put Such Tactics into Action
While having means to relax help, it's not enough to know the appropriate ways to not only use them to move forward in dealing with anger but also have ways to deal with said anger while not able to rely on your de-stress methods. Starting off with a plan of action is the biggest step to avoiding anger. Knowing when such anger rises to the surface while taking the steps to mitigate/de-stress helps stave off anger from causing further harm. I think it would help to have a list of what causes anger within a person, external or internal. Shortly after that, remember the methods discussed earlier. It shouldn't require all of them, but perhaps a few here and there as a means to reduce anger.
Looking Back and At It All...
Reflection will be the most challenging aspect as it requires several facts; one, the location and situation leading up to that point of anger, two, the triggering factors, and three, the outcome and means to prevent it from happening again...if possible. If the location is that of the workplace, there is the possibility that if moving to a separate area of the workplace is not possible, finding a new line of work that prevents such fits of anger returning goes greater lengths than staying in a job that will cause lower productivity because of being blinded by anger. Next is the triggering factor; determine if it's external or internal. If internal, then it will require methods of de-stressing. If external, find ways to get away from that area if possible. Then reflect on what other ways to the cause of anger and ways to prevent it or calm down from it. This emotion is a part of who we are...but if it's not kept in careful check, the dangers can be disastrous.
This is by no means an end-all-be-all solution, but it's a start to help in dealing with anger within me, and hopefully, you as well, dear Reader.
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