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| A Common Reaction to Loss, both in Game and in Life |
What To Expect, and What To Do
A common problem in the Gaming Community, rather ANY community in general, is a sense of hostility known as being 'toxic.' This is a term most commonly expressed by Game Players in the Fighting Game Community (FGC) and this term explains the behavior of an individual getting heated after a defeat. Regrettably, more often than not, it can turn destructive, if not violent. But toxicity in this space is, among other things, crippling the community and has been left unchecked for too long. Therefore, it must be stressed to understand what the toxic mentality is, how to de-escalate it from being destructive, and ultimately bring some civility back, if possible.
What does it mean to be 'Toxic?'
As stated earlier, being 'toxic' in the sphere of the fighting game community comes from the behavior of an individual getting heated after a defeat. To be fair, no one enjoys losing when putting forth the effort to win. The emotional high and concentrated stress from investing time towards competition is intense, regardless of the type of event it is. Athletes and Performers know this all to well, but Game Players in Tournaments may not adhere to any sort of discipline that could help de-escalate toxic moments. Also, to be fair, fighting games at their core require a winner and a loser. There is no gray area, no 'participation victory,' no 'you did your best.'
It's either "You Win" or "You Lose" and nothing else.
It is a harsh reality, but that's the name of the game. Sadly, this has carried over to the players themselves, namely how we are not accepting of such absolutes; losing, most of all. So now, we have animosity when others show any slight that would cause aggression to surface. It doesn't matter who, for whatever reason, in whatever area. Depending on the severity of toxicity, people will die. For now, such severity has been extremely rare for the moment.
How to deal with it
There's no exact science to deal with toxicity that can be mass-produced; emotions vary from person to person. However, there are common steps to take that can help de-escalate, or at the very least, minimize the risk of collateral damage; to one's self, and those around them.
Stepping Back, and Being Aware of the Moment
The first is taking a step back and knowing where you are; in most cases, in a public space, visible to those that use a facility of some sort being rented out. Long and short, it's not your place. That's the first thing to take into account, and sometimes the most overlooked. Any sort of property damage gets charged to the person holding the event there, meaning damages come out of their pocket...which ultimately gets passed onto you. That's assuming there are no personal injuries that coincide with property damages, a double Jeopardy of sorts. That's just the financial hardship placed on you; nevermind the possibility that by your lack of judgment caused future events to either be heavily scrutinized or to be banned outright for business reasons. That will have lasting effects beyond that incident.
The Roles Reversed
Let's say you are not the loser, rather the winner. Recognize that anything could trigger that person who lost to you off, so be cautious in how you approach them. Also, recognize that your very presence will offend them after the loss, so never 'trash-talk' to your opponent; even if they 'trash-talk' to you. You already beat them after that person did those things; anything beyond simply focusing on the next opponent is unnecessary and retaliatory. Finally, showing respect to those you beat should be done with dignity and restraint. It could have been YOU who lost; if you don't want to be treated that poorly, then don't treat THEM poorly.
The Road Back to Civility
The Road Back to Civility is a means to develop respect for all participants. It doesn't diminish the concept of 'Winner' and 'Loser.' What it does is create an overall sense of fairness in how Players treat themselves in the Tournament Setting. The ultimate goal is to make both sides victorious, even though the absolute of 'Winner' and 'Loser' still holds true. The winner is given the credit for their efforts by continuing to participate, while the loser maintains composure, even when the loss is overwhelmingly painful. The winner also fully acknowledges the efforts of those they defeated with the utmost of respect, or they are stripped of their victory in the eyes of the participants. The loser holds the victor accountable in that their loss is legitimate (within reason) and that there was no evidence of foul play, while not dragging out the match into he-say/she-say deliberation. These are but a few examples to take in regards to bettering the community as a whole, and a key aspect of life as well.
What This Means in the Long Run
We still have much and more to do; not everyone wants to admit they have lost or surrendered when they have no chance of winning. But that is the difference between those that can rise above their emotions and those that succumb to them. When even the defeat can come out as the victor in who they are, then the toxicity will be suppressed; not removed, suppressed. It is a constant struggle that will be a testament to the community as a whole, making the experience all the richer and rewarding doing so.
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